


Lightwoods are no cowards

by inasiriusrelationship



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: AU, Alec and Magnus tease each other at department meetings, Inspired by Twitter, M/M, Rivalry, ask and you shall receive, everyone that is not malec is pretty much mentioned only, office shenannigans, this is a mess and I'm not even sorry because I laughed to myself while writing it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 19:52:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17392643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inasiriusrelationship/pseuds/inasiriusrelationship
Summary: "Someone please malec this" - Lecrit, 2019Me, seeing an opportunity to procrastinate studying for my exams: challenge accepted





	Lightwoods are no cowards

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lecrit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lecrit/gifts).



> Lu, I laughed so hard at your tweet I just had to do it  
> I apologize in advance because of how rushed it is, but I'm just hoping it will make you laugh because you deserve all the love, especially after what you shared with us yesterday  
> The original tweet for y'all ladies and gentlemen: https://twitter.com/_L_ecrit/status/1083933421074817025  
> Enjoy some malec texting nonsense  
> (Alec's texts are bold to make them easier to tell apart just in case)

Alec sighs and shifts in his seat, trying not to doze off as his mother goes through last month’s profits at Idris Corp. Inter-department meetings were always so boring. And it meant he actually had to come up from his basement office, which he happened to be rather fond of, and socialize with the “surfacelings” as Simon called them. It was probably a nerd thing. Alec didn’t ask.

Every head of department was required to be there, which was something Alec had not thought through when he’d taken the IT mantel onto himself. He briefly wonders how bad the backlash from Maryse would be if he sent Simon instead of him for the next one.

His train of thought is interrupted by his phone vibrating in his pocket. He carefully and discreetly takes it out to see he has one new text message from “Bane (of my existence)” – he still stands by the pun, no matter what Simon says.

 

_Keep your eyes open Lightwood, ffs._

 

Magnus Bane has been the head of HR at Idris Corp for about five years. Coincidentally, he was also the only thing Alec had found kept him from either falling asleep at the conference table or gauging his eyes out with a butter knife during these meetings. Yet again coincidentally, he was quite possibly the hottest man Alec had ever laid eyes on in person. Not that it mattered whatsoever, because they both despised each other.

Sort of.

It’s complicated.

 

**_Can you even function for more than five minutes without swearing, Bane?_ **

 

His eyes snap back up to try and see Magnus’ reaction, but as usual he gives him nothing this early on. He’s gonna have to try harder.

 

_Ofc I can. I’ve just never really tried. Tell me, what’s it like being boring, darling?_

 

Alec can’t help the amused eye roll, even though he knows Magnus will delight in it. Perhaps they don’t really hate each other, but the bickering is way too good to give up.

 

**_I wouldn’t know. Maybe you should ask that shirt you’re wearing_ **

 

Going for Magnus’ fashion sense from the get-go is bold, but it usually pays off – there are very few things that rile him up quite to the point Alec likes him best. Sure enough, there’s an indignant gasp from the other side of the table that is quickly covered up with a cough, and Alec has to suppress a chuckle.

Clary from Marketing seems to be onto them if her amused smirk is anything to go by, but Alec is pretty sure the majority of the Heads of Department are aware this is happening anyway. He knows Maia from Biology and his sister, who runs the Chemistry department, place regular bets on which one of them “wins” each meeting. Jace, who runs security, and Simon, who’s in his department, make sure to snag an in-depth discussion of each meeting’s outcome from someone (usually Izzy or Clary), in order to be kept in the loop – on the petty rivalry scheme of things, obviously, not the actual company related stuff that neither of them cares about. His mother would be appalled.

Magnus has a scoreboard in his office, but Alec is much too mature for that.

He has a file, obviously. There are statistics involved.

 

_I’ll have you know this shirt alone is more fashionable than your entire wardrobe_

_Not that it’s hard_

 

The two consecutive vibrations have him smirking openly at his opponent, an eyebrow raised in challenge even as he types out his answer.

 

**_Double texting already, Mr. Bane? My, my, today is going to be easy_ **

 

_Not all of us can be perfectly programmed robots, Mr. Lightwood_

 

**_Oh, a robot because I’m from IT. How long did it take you to come up with that_ **

 

_Probably less than whatever long it took you to come up with that outfit, which is an elaborate way of saying really not that long_

 

**_Still upset about that shirt dig, are we?_ **

 

_Not particularly. It just proves my superiority when you have to resort to lies_

_I must ask Maryse where she got you though, I wouldn’t mind having an Alexander of my own around the house_

_Do correct me if I’m wrong, darling, but I don’t recall there being anything in Asimov's Laws against being used as eye candy_

 

Alec can feel his own blush coming on strong, which tends to happen when Magnus inevitably changes tactics to flirting because he knows he can fluster him easily.

 

**_Go fuck yourself, Bane_ **

 

So he’s not the most eloquent in the face of his rival’s flirting. He’s really gay and Magnus Bane is really hot, sue him. He purposefully avoids looking in his direction after the text is sent, going as far as to balance in his chair slightly to appear nonchalant even though he knows he’ll probably lose this round, but the reply is almost instantaneous.

 

_Fuck me yourself, you coward_

* * *

 

The conference room at Idris Corp has glass walls, which means everyone on the top floor of the building is witness to the epic fall their head of IT takes from his chair in the middle of the weekly inter-department meeting. Maryse doesn’t even comment on it, just pinches the bridge of her nose and asks him to leave, along with anyone that isn’t from the science related departments.

Jace is still wiping tears of laughter from his eyes when said IT head leaves the room, a determined scowl on his immensely red face and a giggling HR head hanging from his hand.

When Jace calls out to him in question, all Alec shouts over his shoulder as he drags an immensely pleased with himself Magnus over to the elevator is an indignant exclamation of “Lightwoods are no cowards”.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed and it made you giggle, that is the sole purpose of this mess ^.^


End file.
